To My Team!

To my team:

Ok ladies, this has been running though my mind of what I would say to you guys on bout day if asked because it seems whenever the captains ask what am I feeling, how am I feeling or if I am ready and I can’t ever really seem to spit it out.  I am actually thankful that noone asked on Saturday because I fear I would have lost it with tears.

My Team - Harbor City Roller Dames
photo credit - JS Photography

I just want to say that I LOVE all of you!  

My family and I have been big followers of HCRD’s and always came to the DECC to watch the bouts.  If I had it my way, I would have started derby when Red put out the original call for people to join derby.  I did email her and she sent me all the info for their first get together.  I never went though because my husband had said there was no way I woud be able to do it and I am not cordinated enough and was he afraid I would get hurt.  

3rd practice ever.
Please don't hit me!

A few years went by and the urge was still there.  By this time, my kids were skating every weekend with grandma at the roller rink and loving it.  I did some snooping around to find out about junior roller derby and that is when I found the other area team offered it for young kids.  There it was!  That was my in!!  If the kids could do it, I could too!  

Here is a peak on how “The Udder Woman” began:  

My very first bout.
Foster skated for another team.
photo credit - ChipPlaza Photography

May 2011 - I told the kids when they got home from school that we were going skating but not at the roller rink.  They were excited until I explained that they had to wear helmets and pads (not telling them its roller derby in fear that they want to go).  They were really confused saying “grandma never makes them wear that!”.  I just told them that the place we were going required it.  So that was the start, they actually started a week before me as I didn’t have any skates.

By luck, I found a $25 pair of skates (in my size - what are the chances of that!?!?!?) on craigslist, hubby bought me pads and helmet and I was all set.  First time on the skates....ummmm....yeah....could barely stand up but was expected because it had been about 20 years since I had last been on skates.  My dreams of being able to skate at the DECC like some of my HCRD idols were looking pretty slim but I guess you have to start somewhere.

Fast forward to Oct 2012:

I made some amazing friends but I had some big decisions to make.  The drive to practice was starting to take a toll on me being that it was almost an hour drive one way (and road construction made it worse), the bout schedule was from late spring into summer which wasn’t working for me being that I usually have a wedding to photograph every weekend in the summer, and that when there was an away bout that I could actually go to - it was way too far for me to travel being that I have goats that need to be milked daily in the summer - can’t really tell the lady goats “hey, I will be home in a couple days - sorry, you are going to have to wait to be milked”....doesn’t work that way when you have a farm!

Final Score:  HCRD 161, FMDG 157

So it was either hang up the skates or consider transfering over to HCRD (which I totally thought I did not have the skills nor the coordination to be able to competively skate with their team and that I would probably make a huge fool of myself).  Plus, I had always heard rumors (and not from other team) that they were all a bunch of b!tc#e$, there is a ton of drama, you won’t like skating over there, etc., etc.....with all that said I have to say I was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY nervous about checking out a practice.  

The Udder Woman
photo credit JS Photography

Fast forward to now:

I just have to say that all the rumors I heard are untrue!  You all have made me feel so welcome since I joined!  I am very glad I made the decision to keep skating.  My skills have grown tremendously from six months ago when I first laced up as a Roller Dame.  I want to thank all of you for continually pushing me at practice and giving encouraging words and support!  It was AMAZING to have skated at the DECC this past Saturday in front of such a large crowd WITH my HCRD idols.  I would have never believed anyone two years ago that you would be hearing “The Udder Woman” annouced as a rostered skater with HCRD at the DECC.

So proud be able to call you all my teammates!  You are all wonderful!  I don’t care what anyone else says but HCRD ROCKS!  

Come join us!  www.harborcityrollerdames.com

For all you blog followers, if you set your mind to it - you can do anything.  Have you ever thought of trying derby??  If so, you should!!  Or if you feel you cannot skate but would still like to be involved with the team - we are always looking for volunteers.  For more information, please check out my team's website:  www.harborcityrollerdames.com

Snow - Balls - how fitting!

So my sister has been patiently waiting for another blog entry and I am sure a few of you have too.  

Poop puddle

I am going to use this entry to vent but first a quick update on the goats - All of our ladies have kidded and babies (just shy of 20 total) are all doing good.  The babies are loving this snow but I am not!  I am sick of the snow.  SOOOO, SOOOOOO SICK OF IT that I am starting to think that we should sell the farm and get the hell out of dodge.  I just want green grass - that means no more throwing hay or walking knee deep mud when the white stuff melts.  Or hauling hay from another farm every week since we ran out of what we bought for the year.  (And that is another story in itself since there is a hay shortage and prices are through the roof!).  

Getting muddy

Today’s adventure.....it appears that my daughter’s little "steer" that she showed at the fair last year is not a steer after all.  When we bought him he was already banded and taken care of.  Well, the idiot who banded him missed a ball - how that F do you miss a ball!!???!!  (I am the bander when we do ours and let me tell you, missing one will never happen, even if I have to fondle and massage the damn things back down. - gross but it has to be done!)  I discovered Ralphie's issue a few months ago after he kept trying to mount me when I was doing chores.  Let me tell you when you are in the middle of filling water buckets or stuffing hay into the feeders and out of nowhere something huge is clambering on your back  - it freaks you out.  And then when you realize its your "steer" trying to get his way with you - OH BOY, out of the barn he went to live with the big boys and girls.  We were hoping "he didn't work".  Well, that hope was shot out the door today after seeing his wiener come out today while trying to get on one of the heifers (who is quite larger than him, not even sure he could reach)- he had to be moved ASAP and the hubby had to leave for work.  

Whoops!!

All fixed

Ofcourse - the corral needed to be blocked off, new wood put up where boards were missing, calf huts moved to the corral plus a bale of hay put in there cause I am NOT picking off a round bale and moving it by hand in there.  (I already pick off bales in the barn to feed in there and move about 2400lbs of hay by hand a week, I surely do not need to be moving hay by hand across the pasture too).  Started out with fixing the boards, not a problem, I can handle a hammer and nails.  Then I had to find something to block the corral off.  Dug out the buried in snow cattle panels and drug them up the road and through the yard, rigged them up the best I could to make a gate.  Back out in the pasture to move the calf huts.  Ok, maybe not....After snapping a shovel in half trying to dig out the calf huts, I was swearing like mad and I went in the house in tears.  I called my husband and he said to leave everything until he got home.  I didn’t think that was a good idea....cause the “deed” could have already taken place by then and that would NOT be good!  There is no way in hell that we need to have calves being born in the dead of winter.  

Rigged up gate

I hate asking for help with things but I sucked it up and called my neighbor.  I felt bad calling her since she works midnights and was sound a sleep but she came to the rescue to operate the skid-steer (thinking maybe I should learn how work that thing even though I REALLY don't want too cause then I will be expected to use it and if something breaks- it will be my fault!).  Once she freed the stuck calf huts and helped move them in the corral along with a bale, I thanked her profusely and told her I owed her lunch next week.  

She offered to stay to help get Ralphie in the the corral but I figured he would be easy to get over there since he is halter broke so I told her no - go home and get some sleep.  I should have just had her stay.....Ralphie was NOT going to cooperate getting the halter on.  Finally got a rope on him, then a nice drag through the mud I went.   Phew - he stopped and I cornered him between the gate and the barn and put the halter on - upside down and backwards!!  That wasn't working so as I was fixing it another steer came up behind him and mounted him, well that freaked out one of the heifers and she squeezed though the little section of gate I had open to move Ralphie through.  Not to worry, she was still in a fenced in area but now she was in with the goats.  AHHHHHHH!  That was real fun chasing her around to get her back over to the gate (which I had now shut otherwise all the goats would have been on the cattles side). Successfully got her back over, was able to fix the halter situation, now it was time to move.  NOPE - he was not moving!  I pulled and tugged and all he did was fight it and go backwards.  It was like 1 step forward, 2 steps backwards.  I decided I would try and push him (hoping he wouldn’t kick) and steer him with the halter rope in one hand and the rope around his neck in the other hand kinda like driving a cart.  I managed to get him though the gate without anyone else crossing to the wrong side, around the barn we went and back up the other side towards the corral.  I was getting exhausted as the snow is not plowed, I kept sinking and I was fighting him the whole time.  As I was pusing him with my chest right on his rear, he decides he is going to poop!  FABULOUS, who doesn’t like cow poop smeared across their chest!!!???!!!!!  That last 50 feet to the corral seemed like a mile and when I got him in there it felt like I crossed the finish line.  Too bad nobody was cheering for me!

Hmmmpppfff - would rather lay in
the hay instead of the hut that
he normally chooses to
squeeze his fat body into.
Glad I went through all the effort
to move it in there.

Now it was time to bring him a buddy.  #50 was going to join him.  I walked into the barn to get him and realized he would have to wait, I was out of energy - heck I will never have enough energy to move him myself.  #50 is about 9 months old and is very strong.  When we wormed the calves earlier this year, he wanted NOTHING to do with it.  In his craziness, he plowed through the pens in the barn, knocked my husband down & ran me over scraping my arm along a cattle panel (to which I now have a pretty 5 inch scar on my arm).  He is going to be a two man job to move if not three.  

One-baller Ralphie

So that was my exciting 4 hour barn chore morning.  Lots of swearing, LOTS!  Hope the next time I drop F bomb when I am out there that all the animals don’t come running to me.  From the way it was coming out of my mouth, they may think that’s all of their names!  Ooooopppps!